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We've stopped shouting at the telly to make these things so promise you'll try to enjoy 'em.

Remember my name – remember this?

limaraIn 2012 the England football team appointed Nivea as the official ‘grooming’ sponsor.  Wait, what?  Yes, grooming products.  The cosmetics industry have penetrated that most sacred of places, the dressing room.  Those clever marketing people  have made a product that was gender specific acceptable to the excluded gender thus doubling the available market for their snake oils. It’s the same trick that Sigmund Freuds nephew Edward bernaise did with cigarettes to women in the ’60s

And men of this generation are falling for it.  What next boys, high heels?

I come from an era where you were viewed with some suspicion if you took talc into the changing room and call me old fashioned, go on, call me old fashioned, I can’t hear you, it’s a blog.

No wonder the England team have been pants for a decade, too long in front of the mirror piling on the slap before they go out onto the pitch, making ‘em all camp up before they even start.

‘ere Rooney, do you think I’ve overdone it with the mascara?’

‘Nah and hey, don’t forget your moisturiser’

‘Oh you, as if I would, toodle-pip, see you on the pitch silly’

I come from an era where you were viewed with some suspicion if you took talc into the changing room and call me old fashioned, go on, call me old fashioned, I can’t hear you, it’s a blog.

In 1985 almost all videos for traditionally female products, from cosmetics to tampons were mostly populated with a bunch of fannies prancing around using the hairbrush for a mic and being all beautiful and frankly, hairy.

As a retired punk/rude boy my leanings then were returning to my first love, rock. Imagine then my joy when a deodorant company came out with this belter for a product called Limara.

This prompted some heinous head banging in our house every time it came on. It had everything, a great Zepplin-esque track, screamed over by a sensational rock chick and a sexy cartoon babe who was decidedly a two dimensional boner fairy.

I wrote to the company asking who was singing and what the song was called.  They’d been inundated with similar requests and not only did they reply, they said they were making the original song available and I should check out my local Chemists shop.  I had done a lot of drugs by this point in my life, so the actual weirdyness of that concept just washed over me like a shower of patchouli oil.

I went to my local chemists and there it was, on a display, ‘buy a few cans of the Limara and get a copy of the single’, possibly free.

My mum smelled very nice for a few weeks after that.

Anyway, the song was originally recorded by Stevie Lange, a well respected session/backing singer who was the voice behind Chris Thompson’s group Night or the mighty Filthy McNasty as they were known in the late 70′s in the London area.

She also worked, recorded and toured with some of the most exciting names the music industry has ever known, such as Elton John, Chaka Khan, Lulu, The Doobie Bros, Micheal Bolton, Bonnie Rait, Ray Charles, Marvin Gaye, Roger Taylor and Brian May from Queen, Bryan Adams, Michael McDonald, Wham, Genesis, Chris Thompson (Manfred Manns Earthband) Huey Lewis and the News and Jackson Brown.

She’s still around, gigging and teaching singing to the likes of Gerri Halliwell (ex Spice girl) Jamie Cullum, Robbie Williams, Joe Elliot (Def Leppard) Girls Aloud, and The Sugababes.

Here’s her home page with loads of tunes on it and below is the original song used on the ad.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EI3BJcwg6UI